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Sea Fly
Oct 2, 2009 19:59:22 GMT -5
Post by lolliqueen on Oct 2, 2009 19:59:22 GMT -5
OOC: Finally knows how to rp after rping on CS for 40000000000000000 yrs XD
DarkStar flew up after sitting on the edge of a cliff rock, her wings spread magnificently as she flapped them. Dark then stopped in mid air flapping slwly and rising slowly, she turn to face the water. Dark stopped flapping and started plunging down at the water. Dark spread her wings just before she hit the water. She raised up, her coal black scales shone in the light of the sun. Dark flew over to the shore and landed swiftly making a sand fly away.
Dark used her powers to make a tunnel in the cliff, she walked through it and forgot to close the entrance. Then DarkStar saw another dragon following her. "Who are you!?" DarkStar demanded.
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worwolf
Hatchling
I'm commin' back to life, slowly, but I'm commin' back!
Posts: 35
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Sea Fly
Oct 3, 2009 16:24:20 GMT -5
Post by worwolf on Oct 3, 2009 16:24:20 GMT -5
((Lolliqueen, just a hint: don't say Dark did this, Dark did that, every sentence, it sounds a bit choppy, plus most people will asume that you are talking about DarkStar through out the intire post unless you mention another charrie is doing something, then we asume that everything beyond that is done by the second charrie, untill you mentions another or the first charrie, ect. XP Sorry, I'm not a mod, and you don't have to listen to me, but I do commonly correct people on spelling/grammer issues... despite the fact that I can't spell worth a hoot. ...though if you don't mind, I could join this thread, I'm a bit rusty at the moment and could use a rping partner.))
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Post by lolliqueen on Oct 7, 2009 0:59:57 GMT -5
OOC: meh, I only have one character and I was talking about wat Dark was doing. Because if not, it's called Power Playing.
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worwolf
Hatchling
I'm commin' back to life, slowly, but I'm commin' back!
Posts: 35
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Sea Fly
Oct 16, 2009 15:38:57 GMT -5
Post by worwolf on Oct 16, 2009 15:38:57 GMT -5
((*nods* yes, I know, what I'm saying is that you just don't need to reinforce that it's Dark doing everything, we get that.))
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Sea Fly
Oct 17, 2009 14:02:51 GMT -5
Post by ryuu on Oct 17, 2009 14:02:51 GMT -5
(yes, using she and her as well as dark and darkstar would make it flow more)
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Sea Fly
Oct 18, 2009 10:21:44 GMT -5
Post by Fury on Oct 18, 2009 10:21:44 GMT -5
(I'm afraid I must agree with my friends here, Lolli. Using the character's name a million times does not make a good post. We know it's her because you mentioned her as the subject in the first sentence. After that you can simply use 'she', 'her', etc. Only when you have more then one character should you use the name more than once. This is actually so we don't confuse who is doing what if you happen to have charries of the same gender.)
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Sea Fly
Oct 19, 2009 17:39:59 GMT -5
Post by Ritorion on Oct 19, 2009 17:39:59 GMT -5
( Yup, I'm also in agreement, using Dark too many times also makes it very short and unconnected, sort of like a speech impediment, or some such)
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Sea Fly
Oct 20, 2009 15:09:51 GMT -5
Post by ryuu on Oct 20, 2009 15:09:51 GMT -5
(Dont we sound mean DX...... )
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Sea Fly
Dec 11, 2009 13:36:30 GMT -5
Post by lolliqueen on Dec 11, 2009 13:36:30 GMT -5
OOC: Yes, yes you do. Dx I did that post quiet a while ago now so I am better now. And the funny thing is I was trying not to keep saying she, or her all the time because I was using it WAY to much!
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